This was never going to be a one-year vacation. We neither intended nor wanted that experience. We’re also not trekking across the Gobi in search of lost tribes and the Moon Fish of Algernon Bay (though Ariane has watched her fair share of River Monsters!). All along we planned on traveling, not vacationing.

Well, vacation is over.

Resort Town to Surf Town
Week 1 was a honeymoon, literally and figuratively. We stayed in a world class resort with all the trappings. We enjoyed a three-hour couples spa treatment (spending our “spa treatment allowance” for the next five years in one day). The adult pool area included a sauna, a steam bath, a cold plunge, a hot tub, and, as the name suggests, no kids! Besides relaxing, we ate. Lots and lots of food. To say we were sad to leave is an understatement.

The next stop on our two-month Bali tour was Kuta, a world-renowned surf spot. I don’t know what we imagined, maybe a sleepy little surf town with a few hotels and lots of Aussies with natty blonde hair. There were definitely Aussies, but Kuta is anything but sleepy. Motorbikes everywhere, store fronts selling sarongs and wooden penises (yeah, I don’t get it either), and when the sun went down we got lots of solicitations for magic mushrooms. Maybe the beach would be more relaxing? As soon as foot-hit-sand we were offered a beer, a chair, a towel, a kite, surf lessons, and moonfish on a stick…all at a price.

With craziness like that outside we desperately needed a calming environment to rest our heads. We chose a hotel via AirBnB, one of our primary resources for finding affordable lodging. The selection was made spur of the moment a few months back. We didn’t research much and sort of picked based on decent reviews and decent price.

What’s a poo hose?
Well, lets just start with the fact that the bathroom didn’t have toilet paper. No, not because they ran out and didn’t stock up. It was a policy. No toilet paper. The hose attached to the toilet, what’s that for? Is it used by the staff to clean the toilet? Oh wait, that’s to spray the poo off your butt! And apparently the water pressure normally reserved for the shower head was all directed to the poo hose — Whoa, Nelly! I guess that’s the priority at a self-described eco-stay.

After 15 minutes we weren’t sure if we could do it. Having just come from an amazing resort, it was as if we were thrown into a cold lake…filled with poo hoses. The contrast was stark. The prospects looked grim. The night was long. Oh c’mon, it wasn’t great, but it wasn’t terrible either.

We originally booked the place in Kuta for five days, but after three we’d seen enough. We decided to go to Ubud to get comfortable with the city prior to a six week volunteership at a youth center. After being in Ubud for two days I can say it’s more our speed. And the little villa we’re staying in has toilet paper…and a poo hose. The combination, I must admit, is rather pleasant.

Travel Muscles
Traveling is like working out. The past couple of weeks we’ve used muscles we didn’t realize we had. And we’re a bit sore. But we’re getting stronger, more adaptable. Soon enough we’ll be eating street food in Singapore with Anthony Bourdain!

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